A job as a scriptwriter with Dreamworks Entertainment.
That is where I was headed the Summer of 2005.
I had the roommate, the apartment and the moving van ready to go.
And then I pulled the plug two weeks before I was due to leave.
Was it the boy from Jersey that I was in love with?
Was it cold feet?
Or was it intuition?
They say hindsight is 20/20.
But here’s what I know.
I ended up moving in with a family of four children.
I enjoyed helping the first grader learn how to read and after moving back to my hometown, decided to shadow a teacher to see if it would be a good fit for me.
I ended up getting a Masters in Elementary Education Pk-6 and later, using it to homeschool my own children.
And lookie-here.
I’m still writing.
Maybe not moving to Cali was a mistake.
Maybe I’d be rich and famous!
But I’d like to think that I’ve always had a keen sense of self.
The ability to get quiet and listen.
And what I heard back then was, “Don’t go.”
As a result, I met my husband. I had these four beautiful daughters. I became a teacher and remained a writer.
Perhaps the best stories in life aren’t fiction, but our very own.
Life speaks.
Me as “Sissy” in Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean Jimmy Dean , 2000
It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to write. And don’t we all experience those phases in life? The tide that ebbs and flows.
I was chatting with another mom earlier about the prospect of my daughter joining a competitive athletic team. She shared the benefits: learning how to lose, how to win, how to handle disappointment and support others, among other things. They were great, valid points and I appreciated her input. I always love a different perspective than my own.
But my response was, “eh”. I like vacations. I like lazy Saturday weekends as opposed to rushing to the field or meet. I like dancing in my jammies with my kids in the kitchen while making pancakes in place of best times, trophies, baskets or goals. I’m sure she does, too, to an extent. But it all begs the question: To what end?
For her, the sacrifice of the initial investment is worth the long-time payout.
For me, the gift of today calls me.
I believe in trying most (good) things, at least once. I believe in trying again, when you fail or are fearful. I believe “real” work doesn’t truly begin until you push yourself out of your comfort zone.
It’s my responsibility to encourage my child to come into her own and to provide the resources available to help her achieve her goals.
But I also believe that we are each born with our innate gifts and it is up to us to listen to those gifts speak their truth.
So even though my daughter is gifted at the piano, I allow her to quit when encouraging her to practice overpowers her desire to play.
And when my other daughter has an anxiety attack over performing in the holiday production, I hug her and reassure her that, IT’S OK. She doesn’t have to sing.
Because, at the end of the day, what is the End Goal?
For us, it is health, happiness and confidence- the ability to tune in to our heart- to pay attention to when it whispers and listen to when it roars.
New Leaf Parenting 