You hear “You can be whatever you want to be!” or “There will be time for that later”, but how often do you truly believe it?  In high school we are groomed to find a college that will fit some far concept of what we “want to be when we grow up”.  And in college we are forced to choose a major at 18 years-old, as if we know what the next 70 years hold in store for us.  Once we enter the workforce, we get comfortable in our position or too fearful to leave.  We begin to invest in retirement funds and pensions.  We have loans to pay and children to raise.  So to the back-burner our dreams go . . . but does it have to be this way?

At some point, we lose sight of our heart’s true desires.  We may admire others who are pursuing it from a distance but we tell ourselves reasons why it cannot be ours.  We pacify ourselves by counting our current blessings and convincing ourselves that we don’t need those dreams to be happy.  But what if we itched that scratch?  Why are we so afraid of trying?  Why are we so afraid of change?

As someone with a fairly positive outlook on life,  I was surprised to realize the extent to which I actively shut-down my deepest dreams.  It’s not as if I can pinpoint a day I told myself “No”, rather it is the presence of a subconscious voice that constantly provides reasons why my dreams cannot be.

This “ah-ha” moment hit me within the last couple of weeks.  First, as I watched The Dave Matthews Band Listener Supported DVD.  Mesmerized as I experienced a symphony of music dancing in my ears, I couldn’t fathom how these musicians could be so in tune with one another as they improvised each and every song.  It dawned on me that they practiced.  All. The. Time.  They practiced.  They dedicated their life to what they love.

I witnessed this again as I watched The Masters on TV and reveled in Sergio Garcia’s win after decades of losing this tournament.  He kept trying and trying even as he played that 18th hole twice.  It was inspiring.

It forced me to try and remember what my dreams really are.  What did I like to play as a child?  What do I really want to do with my time left here on Earth?

I’ve always heard of age 50 referred to as “Over-the-Hill” but I’ve realized that by shifting my perspective to truly believing I’m just getting started here at 34, I have a whole lot of living left to do.  The last 34 years were just a warm up for the best that is yet to come.

So here’s my list:

1. National Geographic Photographer
2. Author
3. Master Potter
4. A Great Cook
5. Violinist
6. Pianist
7. Ukulelist
8. A wife and mother.

I’ve done a lot of these things as a child or in lessons, but I haven’t continued to pursue them,  So here’s my plan:

Now

1.  Make cooking healthy food a number one priority by using Lisa Leake’s 100 Days of Real Food Challenge cookbook and blog.
2. Continue writing this blog and continue jotting book ideas in my notes.

Soon

1.  Pick up the Ukulele in June and continue lessons online.
2. Start piano lessons again this fall.  Schedule an in-home concert to invite family and friends so that I have a goal to work towards finishing 3-5 pieces.
3. Purchase a very nice camera.   Read books, blogs and find lessons.

Next 1-2 years

1.  Be a wife and mother.  (just kidding  )
2. Find a pottery studio and get back on that potters wheel- I feel home there.

Next 3-5 years

1.  Buy a violin and start taking lessons

Next 5-10 years

1.  Write a book.

It’s time to shut that negative self-talk down.  It’s time to stop fearing failure.  It’s time to not just tell my daughters they can dream big, but to show them how their own mommy makes it a reality.

It’s time to stop taking each day for granted.

Today is a fresh start, as is tomorrow.

So turn over that leaf.  Write down your list.  And join me as we get busy living.

In all our 21st century inventions, it’s the one thing that has continued to evade us- the thing we cannot recreate, erase or prolong.  It’s immeasurable and invaluable- and somehow, we never feel that we have enough.

Time.

“Look at them,”  My father says as he watches my eldest daughters roll the ball down his billiard table while the youngest pulls every book off of his bookshelf.  “It doesn’t matter how many times you have seen this.  It’s incredible.  I just wish I could know them when they are 26, 28, getting married, having babies of their own.”

Anyone looking in would agree that my 85 year-old father has lived a complete and fulfilling life.  Five children, 10 grandchildren and two great-grandaughters – all healthy.  I envy his reign and only hope I can follow in his footsteps.

And yet as precious as time is, how unbelievable is it that we waste it on jobs we hate, partners we know are not good for us, choices we know are not right?  It’s as if we falsely assume their will be time for better decisions later . . .

Time has never seemed more precious to me than when I am on an airplane.  For whatever reason, it terrifies me and I am left wanting more time.  I want to be present for my daughters as they age- I want to witness their growth and change.  I want time to fish and hike with my husband and time to read on my own.

But even when you’ve had 85 years full of health and mostly happy memories, you still are left wanting and wondering what, if anything, comes after our time here on Earth.  What yet do we not understand?

All we know for sure of our life on Earth is now.  Our current time.  Are we appreciating it?  Reveling in it?  Not waiting for something better?  Making “the most” of it?

We must.  For anything less . . . is a waste of time.