Love to You

Swinging, strolling, playing, nursing.  None of it has worked.  It is 9 PM and you should have been asleep two hours ago.  Instead, you are awake and crying when placed in your crib.  What is a mom, to do?

You had me up at midnight and 5 a.m.  Your sisters, collectively, woke me at 1, 2 and 4 a.m.  I haven’t slept in years.

After all of the trying, the rocking, the swaying, it dawns on me just what you need.  It’s so simple, why didn’t I think of it all along?

My energy changes.  I lay you on your tummy.  You fight.  I place my gentle hands upon your back.  Your head.  You settle.

I caress the soft skin on your sweet, little chubby arm and you lift it begging me to continue.  So I do.  I channel all the love I have for you through the end of my fingertips.  I calm and so do you.

We’ve been connected since the beginning and we always will be.

I set aside my exhaustion, my frustration and I send my love to you.

I slowly stop moving, resting my full palm upon your body.  A fingertip.  Hovering.

I’ve waited all of this time for you to sleep and yet I pause to marvel at your perfection before shutting your door, leaving my energy safely enclosed so that you feel safe.  Secure.

All my love, to you.

 

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