Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t burn a bridge.’?
Well, I have. And in my history, it has meant a lot.
But at what point does holding onto burning embers do more harm than good?
Imagine it.
Cutting them loose.
Sad, but free.
And yet . . . always wondering . . .
What if they were still there?
First, it’s a bump. A setback. A hinderance.
Then, quite suddenly, a demand for attention.
We explore options. We’re optimistic.
Sure, we stumble, but who doesn’t?
And then,
it’s different.
It’s not a challenge to overcome anymore.
It’s a new way of life.
One we never asked for, nor wanted.
We’re faced with a Dead End.
Or, are we?
We stop. We cry. We lament.
Then we retrace our steps and get our asses back on the
Right. Damn. Track.
Because when faced with a dead end,
Other than dying,
What are we supposed to do?
Live.
We live.
Los Angeles. Studio City, to be precise.
That’s where I was headed in 2005, with a roommate I’d spoken with for months over AOL but had never actually met in person. We had the lease to our apartment and I had a lead to a job as a script-writer with Dreamworks Studio.
Instead, I pulled the plug two weeks before I was set to move.
It remains to be, the road not taken for me.
In place of California. I lingered on the East Coast taking a room with a family of 6. In exchange for room and board, I provided care for the kids. As the youngest of 8, I had never had 4 younger “siblings” before and was terrified. Quickly, I adapted, finding myself taking particular interest in that first grader mastering reading.
I read the book What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles and shockingly wondered if he could be right- were the childhood games I played as a teacher my destiny? Had I known and denied all along?
I moved back to my hometown in my own blissful, 1-bedroom apartment, and volunteered in the fourth grade classroom at my tiny, private elementary school, just to see if it was worth pursuing.
And, oh, it was.
I. Came. Alive.
Yes, this is where I was meant to be all along.
Until I had my own four children and stayed home to care for them. I quit my job as teacher and became Mama.
I started my own blog to continue my pursuit of writing.
Then a Pandemic hit and again, I became teacher.
New Leaf Parenting 