Have you ever had an epiphany?
Perhaps you have but didn’t even realize that’s what it was.
It goes something like this:
You’ve been haunted by a sinking feeling, somewhere in the background. It’s a whisper; not enough to take action, but there it is.
Later, the whispers increase in volume and intensity- in other words, more evidence pointing to your initial feeling.
And finally, the epiphany- the moment you connect the dots and recognize the intended message.
Some epiphanies are wonderful- “So, this is love!”, “I’m ready/not ready to have a baby and I’m ok with that!”, etc.
And some are downright terrifying- “I want a divorce.”, “I need to change my career entirely.”, etc.
Recently, I had an epiphany and it all had to do with self-esteem or rather, my lack-thereof.
Experiencing an epiphany feels much like floating above your entire life and witnessing it from space.
Suddenly, everything is so clear.
Why hadn’t I realized it all along?
I measure my self-worth largely by the way I perceive others feel about me.
There it is.
The one I didn’t want to have but needed to have in order to take back control of my life.
To stop valuing myself based on my perceived self-worth to others and instead (gasp!) . . .
Be ME! Free and wholly me! Unapologetically! Unabashedly! Take me or leave me but still, here I will be.
My Identity: Free.