That kind of love doesn’t really exist. It’s all a dream, a movie, a flash in the pan. It won’t last, you’ll see.
Heartache and heartbreaks. They teach us disbelief. We’ve been let down before so best not to get our hopes up again.
And yet, somehow, even in the midst of grief, there’s a tiny part of us that still believes. We are scared and guarded, but still hopeful.
When you grow up with divorced parents or parents who have been physically but not emotionally together; When you have witnessed or been a victim of physical or emotional abuse, it’s hard to still believe.
And when you’ve seen another couple work and have yet to find your own lobster, you wonder if that couple was just “one-in-a-million”. Like winning the lottery. Possible, but not probable.
I remember waiting on his roommate’s couch for him to return from a wedding. We had only been dating a week but had yet to spend a day apart. It was a whirlwind romance and I was excited but scared. His roommate hid my car keys as a way to encourage me to wait and I was secretly grateful to use that as an excuse. The truth was, I wanted to wait. I wanted to believe that what we had was what I had been waiting my whole life for.
But since we had both recently ended serious relationships, neither of us felt ready to jump into another.
He walked in the door and I hid my face in the pillows. Embarrassed I had made myself so vulnerable. Now he knew.
He pulled me towards him and explained he had been counting down the minutes to get back to me. I cracked a smile and so did he. We hugged, we kissed and 10 years later, here we still are.
My valentine. My real-life romance. The champion of my heart. The one who brings out the best in me. The one I will never doubt. The one I will grow old with. Everything I had ever hoped for. My husband. My lobster. My Emmett.
Happy Valentine’s My Love.
First photo by Dee Akright Photography