She called and she said, “I don’t know what to do.”
And I said, “Here’s XY and Z.”
All the places someone else can help.
“But here’s the truth.
There’s no one more qualified than you.”
Listen, I have those kids.
They need professional help.
They need accommodations, counseling, services and meds.
And we utilize them!
But at the end of the day,
What do they need most? Above all? Since birth? In addition to God?
They need me to show up.
Me not to punt them and their struggles for someone else to solve.
They need me to hold their hand.
When it’s ugly and neither of us know what the hell to do.
They need me to just walk alongside them through it.
I fill blanks with the qualified but I also remain steady.
No matter what they are going through,
I am here.
“And that’s what you do.
“I’ll always love you but some days, I don’t like you.”
I remember my mother saying this to me, as a child.
It has never resonated with me more.
It sounds harsh, but as a parent myself now, I understand what she meant.
One of our daughters has been having a really tough time lately and I’m going to be honest; spending time with her feels like work.
She’s struggling and her way of coping is to act out.
This week my mom said, “They need the most love when they are the most unlovable.”
Ugh. The ugly truth.
She knows this from her experience of parenting me.
I was NOT an easy child. Strong-willed, relentless, exhausting.
But she kept on loving me.
Despite my outbursts and her exasperation, she held.
I pushed, she stayed.
And here I am.
Exhausted and exasperated with my daughter.
But I stay.
Like her behavior or not, here I am.