Looking around, questioning the validity of everything I sense. What it must feel to walk on the moon. Like I’m floating out of this world. Not really here, but watching from the outside in. This is how it feels to live after loss.
And the more I realize I’m actually here, and she’s not, the more painful the reality becomes. Words like unfair. Too soon. And Why plague my mind.
The phrase “Be Kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” takes on a new meaning.
Suddenly, that asshole on the road is just another poor bastard doing the best he can.
And my child’s fit, is just that: a fit that will pass.
Love and Loss like spaghetti and meatballs, peanut butter and jelly- one not without the other.
And for a time, Kelly and Lauren. Best friends forever.
It’s too painful to imagine, so usually, we don’t. And yet, by the time it happens, we wish we had spent a little more time thinking about it because if so, perhaps we would have done things a little differently.
We would have slowed down. We would have cherished the moments and days. We wouldn’t have sweated the small stuff so much.
So why do we wait?
I had a surprising situation happen to me at a party last night. Someone I never would have expected, told me they read my blog and love it. It meant the world to me. I don’t write for the money (I don’t make any) or for the praise. I write to understand and I share so that someone else out there may feel that they aren’t alone.
But it dawned on me- what if this person had never told me they read my work? What if I suddenly passed away, like a friend of mine did recently? Would they have regretted not telling me that my words touched them? Why do we live with these regrets?
Perhaps it is because we are, indeed, too busy. There’s simply no way to do it all. And it would be depressing to think about death all of the time. But there are small things we can do.
One of which, is to frequently and emphatically tell people what they mean to us. A phone call, a text, a written letter. Just one person a week.
It felt amazing to be given a compliment and has inspired me to pay it forward. To begin 2018 with praise and without regret. That’s one resolution, I intend on keeping. Cheers to that. Cheers to you. Keep reading. I’ll keep writing. Happy, Happy New Year 🙂