What do you say to the woman strong enough to stand alone?
Honestly, it doesn’t matter because
She still stands.
Stand
Friends
Our Best Self
“I wish I could tell you it gets easier but I’d be lying.” I told her.
“I’m 40 years old and still dealing with friendship drama!”
She hugged me tightly and admitted, “That sucks.”
Yea, it does.
It’s hard.
We change, the people change, the discomfort remains.
We’re all learning and growing.
Who am I my most authentic self around?
It has nothing to do with history and everything to do with who we’re becoming.
We continue to become our best self.
Sometimes towards one another and sometimes not.
The one thing we can always count on is: Change.
We hold, we release, we become
Our best self.
Three Words
It’s just three words so why are they the hardest to say aloud?
“I. Need. Help.”
Her teachers were shocked: “She is so happy and helpful in class. She has friends and is on honor roll. I never saw this coming.”
How many times have we heard this same story of surprise?
At what point do we not wait until it becomes irreversible regret and start paying attention to the little signs?
Depression is not sudden.
It’s gradual.
We know this but we don’t want to label it so we look for other explanations.
Meanwhile, they continue drowning.
Not my child.
“But if I tell her what’s wrong, I’ll cry!” She laments.
It’s better than crying in the bathroom, I remind her.
School therapists are like life guards; on the side ready to offer help when needed.
Our struggles may be a part of our story but they don’t have to be the end.
But first, we must take the hardest, most important step.
Admit that we are struggling and ask for help.
It’s just three words.
Ballers
“Unfair!” “Bad call!” “These refs are the worst.”
All sentiments I heard from my players last basketball season.
Victims.
At our last practice, I gave each girl a flashlight.
“Ultimately, you choose what you shine your light on. Are you going to shine it on what is out of your control? Unfair players and referees? Offensive injuries? Or, instead, are you going to shine your light on what you CAN do. Are you going to see the possibility?”
In the heat of the moment, the lesson remains true: Focus on what you alone can control.
This same principle applies to my daughters with nightmares.
Can we control the terrible thoughts that enter our heads? Not always.
But can we allow them to pass by us like a moving thundercloud without allowing them to rain on our parade? Yes.
We can choose to shine our light, our thoughts on something that brings us joy.
A recent trip to the beach, the taste of ice cream, a memory of snow. The possibility.
No, we cannot control that which offends our personal space.
But we surely can control how we respond to it.
It’s our light.
And we choose where it shines.
Ballers.
Captain
They were my island.
My safe haven from the rushing waters.
In time, the shoreline shrank, leaving me grasping for olive branches.
I had a choice to make.
Do I stay, hoping and praying for the island to return?
Instead, I let go.
Allowing the current to take me.
I built my own boat from the surrounding pieces of my life.
And found myself stronger than ever.
The Captain.
Far
I spent the better part of my first forty years desperate for others to understand how far I’ve come from where I started.
Surely, they’d respect and understand me more?
But now I know, we all have stories, untold.
And it’s best to approach all with the grace we’ve always wished upon ourselves.
Hold my hand.
Lean in.
We’ve come so far.
Barbie
I just experienced the Barbie movie.
And I’m shook.
It moved me to tears.
This movie was masterfully made.
Funny, thought-provoking and meaningful.
The set design was epic.
The cast, impeccable.
The humanity- relatable.
A mother and her “tween” daughter at odds who ultimately work together to help Barbie and her land find their purpose.
America Ferrera’s speech to “wake up” the barbies: “I’m just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman, tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”
Me too, Barbie.
Me too.
Goodbye
So long,
Farewell.
It’s time to say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Privilege
I had been in labor for 37 hours when my mom entered the room and walked straight to my husband, with a breakfast sandwich, exclaiming, “You must be so tired.”
My husband was so confused.
She had not acknowledged me or the baby.
And I guess that’s what I want people to know.
Privilege comes in many forms.
Imagine sand.
Some of us build from a deeper hole.
And yet, we’re on the same team.
Friendship
Friendship break-ups are the worst.
I’ve been having this conversation with one of my daughters on the reg lately.
Listening to podcasts, reading books.
Explaining that I’m thrice her age and still figuring it out myself.
Suddenly, your people aren’t your people anymore.
What’s a girl to do?
Find new people.
New Leaf Parenting 