The First Step

Posted on December 15, 2022December 16, 2022 by Lauren

Have you ever had moments in your life when you feel like time stops?

It’s remarkable.

And it happened again today when I read a line from an advice column:

“Children of alcoholics are often on high alert trying to anticipate other people’s feelings, so they can try to head off problems or incidents before they become overwhelming.”

The camera of my life came into focus.

The dots connected.

And for a moment, time stopped

As my mind rewinded

To the friendships I had ruined by suffocating them with my need to control

And the relationships I had endured because I expected no better.

My desperate need for security.

My present-day Type A personality.

I am a child of an alcoholic.

And it shows, still today.

It’s not an excuse.

But it does help to explain how I came to be.

And for me, that’s the first step.

Time starts again.

New Leaf Parenting.

Every Day is a Fresh Start.

Original Article: https://www.pilotonline.com/advice/ct-aud-ask-amy-20221215-mgo2iskwwfehneze7tiqqapi6y-story.html

Witness

Posted on May 27, 2022 by Lauren

Not for you.

Not in place of you.

With you.

My eldest is entering her tween years and as much as I want to save her from the harrows that lie ahead,

I recognize,

It’s her journey

I’ve already lived mine.

I wish I could change the hands of some times,

But they’ve led me to this moment, right now.

The time I let go and witness.

Not for me.

Not in place of me.

With me.

Us.

The Gift

Posted on August 17, 2021 by Lauren

He said,

“When do you ever have time to walk by a giant chess set and decide, “Hey, let’s stop and play!”

That is a gift.

The gift of unscheduled time.

Let us give it to one another more.

‘Tis the Season

Posted on November 10, 2017November 10, 2017 by Lauren

Pine straw.

That’s all it took to absorb our 20 month-old daughter’s attention for one whole hour.

We had a house full of the newest, brightest and loudest toys that occupied Aurora for a few minutes a piece, and yet here was my mother-in-law on our back porch, helping her slide pine straw through the cracks of our deck.

My husband and I watched from the window in disbelief and almost irritation. How could it be so simple?

The holidays are here and with it, the catalogs in the mail and the ads on the internet and tv. “Hurry, before it’s too late!” they warn. “Limited Edition”, “Hot Toys”, “Sale Ends Soon!”.

Buy, Buy, Buy. More, More. More.

Some people are even going so far as to buy out entire stocks of a store, only to turn around weeks later and sell them at a profit to desperate parents.

Is this really what this season is about?

We are certainly pressured into thinking so.

We are programmed to believe we must have this item for our loved one to be happy.

Pardon me, but what a load of crap!

Ask a survivor of a terrible house fire, and they will tell you that if their family and pets survived, then, aside from heirlooms and keepsake memories, they feel “lucky”.

Ask someone on their deathbed what they would wish for if they could have anything at all.

The answer would be time.

Not the flashy gadget inside the house, instead, the time it takes to slowly weave pine straw through the cracks.

The personal connection, the conversation, the one thing that we we cannot store- time.

‘Tis the season of giving.

As you find yourself sucked into the rush of the holidays, take a moment to slow down and recognize that so long as we have those we cherish, we already have enough.

And when you go to the store and find that “hot item” sold out, replace it with the gift that cannot be bought or sold- time, spent with you.