Human

Thankless

Posted on by Lauren

Y’all. They cute but let’s be real. 

This is the most thankless job I’ve ever signed up for. 

I guess this is what the mid-life crisis is? When you’re too far to turn around and make a different choice?

I was almost a screenwriter. An actress. Famous.

Instead, I’m a mom. A coach. A teacher. A writer. 

Oh, wait. 

My life isn’t over just because I chose differently.

It’s different, yes. Richer, yes. Harder, yes. 

But I’m not done.  

I’m just getting started. 

This is the most thankless job I’ve ever signed up for. 

But I’ll be damned if I don’t embrace the choice I made and inspire children to follow their own dreams.  

Let’s be real. 

They cute, ya’ll. 

Camille Vaughan Photography

Story

Posted on by Lauren

I try. 

I keep trying to see that little face amongst the venom that spews from her mouth. 

But she’s not my little girl anymore. 

No, she is her own. 

And boy, does she have a lot to say. 

How do I tell her?

How can she know, I am the mother I never had?

Oh, but wait. 

This is her story, not mine. 

I was 30 hours into labor when my midwife dropped that truth bomb on me. 

“This is not your story, Lauren. It’s hers.”

Good God. 

Nice to know, now. 

I gave birth to a new human.  

Not a continuation. 

Instead, our contribution.  

We try. 

We listen. 

We recognize. 

She has a lot to say. 

This is her story. 

Not ours. 

Nice to know. 

Always. 

Camille Vaughan Photography

Love is Love

Posted on by Lauren

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The Great Facade

Posted on by Lauren

“It’s ok to feel your feelings.” I whispered into her ear as she sobbed.

She’s been so angry lately. 

But I knew better. 

This had nothing to do with who she is

And everything to do with what she felt. 

She was lost and anger was the easiest path.  

Let’s be real. 

It’s easier to be angry than it is to admit you’re vulnerable and wounded. 

The Great Facade.

Camille Vaughan Photography

Peace

Posted on by Lauren

At first, a thread. 

Then, the seam. 

Piece by piece, 

My unraveling.

Not the sort you might think:

My pretty dress, favorite shirt. 

Instead, my knots. 

My tension, stress, anxiety.  

Bit-by-bit, 

Loosening.  

Letting go. 

They are all off to school.  

I said no to volunteering. 

And here I am. 

Unraveling the last dozen years. 

There was a moment when I considered adding to the size of this knot.

More money, more things, more praise.

Instead, 

Less. 

Unraveling.

Piece to Peace.

Camille Vaughan Photography

Electricity

Posted on by Lauren

The crowd gathered round. 

Electricity. 

You could feel it in the air and we all wanted to witness.

Most didn’t know what for but I knew. 

These were my parents. 

Illicit lovers so long ago. 

Not meant to be forever. 

But meant to make and love me. 

Years passed but their magnetism never did. 

If only we could all be so lucky to love, at least once 

Just like that. 

Captain

Posted on by Lauren

They were my island. 

My safe haven from the rushing waters. 

In time, the shoreline shrank, leaving me grasping for olive branches. 

I had a choice to make. 

Do I stay, hoping and praying for the island to return?

Instead, I let go. 

Allowing the current to take me. 

I built my own boat from the surrounding pieces of my life. 

And found myself stronger than ever. 

The Captain. 

Dee Akright Photography

Far

Posted on by Lauren

I spent the better part of my first forty years desperate for others to understand how far I’ve come from where I started. 

Surely, they’d respect and understand me more?

But now I know, we all have stories, untold. 

And it’s best to approach all with the grace we’ve always wished upon ourselves. 

Hold my hand. 

Lean in. 

We’ve come so far. 

Camille Vaughan Photography

Barbie

Posted on by Lauren

I just experienced the Barbie movie.

And I’m shook. 

It moved me to tears.  

This movie was masterfully made. 

Funny, thought-provoking and meaningful. 

The set design was epic. 

The cast, impeccable. 

The humanity- relatable. 

 A mother and her “tween” daughter at odds who ultimately work together to help Barbie and her land find their purpose. 

America Ferrera’s speech to “wake up” the barbies: “I’m just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman, tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”

Me too, Barbie. 

Me too.